Just a bit about my life..

Things change!

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 15:40:43 -0400

Wow how time has flown. Now no longer with that guy in my last post. He was cheating on my the whole time with his ex girlfriend. That’s why he was away so much and ignoring me. So my feelings of second best were totally understandable but they shouldn’t have been neccessary. I didn’t do anything wrong in that relationship. I didn’t deserve what happened to me. And it’s totally affected me for the worst. I can’t trust many people now. I get paranoid around my new boyfriend. I don’t speak to my friends a lot. I’m just in my own bubble too much and it’s all his fault. He picked me to manipulate and torture from the inside. Then threw me away.
But at the end of the day he’s not coming back. I don’t want him back. Anyone who does that to anybody else is not worth the breath of me. I have someone else now and I’m trying to be happy. I just need serious closure.
Well. I say closure. I found out that he’s having a child with his new girlfriend. All because I said no to having one at the age of seixteen. Is that so wrong? When I say closure I mean a huge rant at him about everything. How he’s made me feel and what he’s turned me into.
I no longer love him. Even when I think about the good times. It was all a lie. Everything. How could I still be in love with that? I wasted some good time on him. Lucky for him, I don’t believe in revenge.

All in all. He’s not my problem anymore. He just better step up to the mark if he’s gonna be a dad though.
End of rant.
Sorry guys XD

Great...

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 07:32:29 -0400

So yet again. Courtney has been ditched by the boyfriend because his best mate has come down for a few days. Which is entirely not his fault. But still. I don’t like feeling second best. It wouldn’t be so bad if we hadn’t been inseperable for the past 11 months. But it’s always been me and him. I’ve dropped things for him.. I don’t like the feeling of non existance especially when that feeling comes from someone you love the most.

What Now?

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:47:42 -0400

Okay, so I’m doing what I normally do when I’m up late-ish. Thinking. Just thinking how can some friends be everything you wanted in a friend but then again you know they are using you and throw you aside when they no longer need your help. I miss not caring about what people thought of me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in this perfect relationship with the amazing boyfriend of almost a year and everything is great. And yes I have my neighbour bestfriend Beth to talk to whenever I want. Except now because she’s away the douchebag…
But it’s times like that, that when for some reason I can’t talk to my boyfried or, my friend, I literally have nobody else to turn to. Pretty annoying really =(